so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You smell like a Billy Joel song
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
