have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You ate ashes out of my bong
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
