is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
