What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
