we have pet lesbian snakes
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
