So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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