he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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