Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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