We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
