You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
