Is it normal to miss your booty call?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
