Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
