There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
