I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
