OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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