I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
