Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
