i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
