ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
