hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
