Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
