It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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