went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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