I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
