can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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