Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
