More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
