It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Last time i carry you out of a forest
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
