This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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