i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I wish you could order shots online.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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