i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
