I puked a lego.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
