I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
