No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
