and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
