I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
