Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
