We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Randomize
