Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
