This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
