also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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