Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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