Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My ATM looks so different sober.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Randomize
