Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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