JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
