you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
high people should be assigned attendants
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
