I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
