What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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