So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
