trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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