suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
