Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
