After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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