he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
